We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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