Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
