I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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