she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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