This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
