Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
