What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
