i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
