I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dick very happy bro
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
