No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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