I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
