the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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