I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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