YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
