At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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