getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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