Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
