That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
