After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
