I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
