that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
God I need to hump something, right now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
