You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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