He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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