I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
a search helicopter?!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
