We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
