I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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