She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
