Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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