Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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