The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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