Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
