I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you win again, gameday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
