Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
