MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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