he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
