My brain says no but my pants say off.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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