I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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