I wish I could teleport
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
