You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
