No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Slut skills are useful in every country.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You pole danced in your parka.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
