3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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