She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How external is "for external use only"?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
