if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
