i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
