i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
