He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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