I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
