Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No more Irish car bombs ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
