You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
