Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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