I can't breathe out the right side of my face
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
